I usually prided myself on having high expectations until a sequence of toxic interactions helped me look closer at myself personally and comprehend where I found myself heading completely wrong. Listed here are 14 situations used to do that showed my standards had been really as well reasonable and I also must raise them:

1. 
   I found myself finding the wrong situations.
   
   As opposed to centering on men who’d great traits that would make for an excellent commitment, like loyalty and good cardiovascular system, I became constantly sidetracked by their appearance. One of my price breakers was actually a man who was simplyn’t attractive because I wanted sparks and biochemistry. The end result? I ended up with amazingly good-looking dudes who had been douchebags.
2. 
   I was thinking I’d to put on a fight.
   
   In distressed connections, a female with high criteria will GTFO before she will get destroyed, yet not me personally. I imagined I had large requirements because I’d just be sure to operate added hard on a failing relationship. I tolerate a great deal crap, considering it forced me to good girlfriend. No, it helped me dumb.
3. 
   I was as well extreme.
   
   From reasoning I found myself therefore restless about men, I’d end up getting these losers. How might this occur? In my opinion whatever’s also severe are a bad thing. It’s like sticking to this type of a strict diet plan that when the thing is delicious treat, it’s not possible to assist but consume five. I will’ve been a lot more healthy about how precisely We watched dudes and extremely taken an effective see whom these were before rushing into connections.
4. 
   I became
   hopeless discover really love
   .
   
   I thought I found myself just like any different 20-something about internet dating scene Want to get a hold of a loving relationship, but I was in fact rather desperate. How do I know? I would have particular deal breakers in place that have been truth be told ridiculous, like perhaps not online dating a man whom didn’t have an attractive adequate sound, however whenever man revealed desire for me I’d be seduced by him hard and completely disregard all my deal-breakers.
5. 
   I imagined We could change these with really love.
   
   If I truly enjoyed men, I would make an effort to disregard my deal-breakers. I’d consider they would alter for my situation and increase to meet up with my personal criteria. Ha, just what a tale! Basically’d actually already been a lady with high standards, I would’ve liked my self significantly more than them and changed myself personally versus waiting for these to change. That would’ve resulted in self-growth instead of pain.
6. 
   I happened to be acting like We had no expectations.
   
   I happened to be attracting toxic guys and that I could not ascertain the reason why… until I noticed that although I was constantly declaring having super-high expectations, the truth was that I happened to ben’t behaving like it anyway. I was acting like great, accommodating lady they were able to take advantage of. It absolutely was thus messed up.
7. 
   High requirements felt like a barrier to love.
   
   I imagined having large expectations would block really love from entering my entire life. Individuals would call me too picky or restless therefore started initially to reach me personally. Very, I registered online dating with a mindset of good males being an almost-extinct species. Beggars could not be choosers! That forced me to tolerate a lot more than I deserved, considering love could well be beneficial. It was not. I should’ve caught to my large expectations alternatively.
8. 
   I elected not to show my personal emotions.
   
   I was thinking element of having high standards had been powerful and playing slightly difficult to get. But that is BS! It merely resulted in me compromising my requirements and thoughts. It was not beneficial one little bit.
9. 
   I experienced low self-esteem.
   
   One of the primary signs that I had reasonable expectations was actually that I didn’t have self-love or proper confidence. Although I knew just what high expectations i needed in my relationship, i did not follow through to them because deep down i did not believe i truly earned all of them.
10. 
    I didn’t worry about compatibility.
    
    Quite a few of my connections were a disaster since dudes and I merely were not compatible. I did not observe that because I was emphasizing an inappropriate points that I was thinking happened to be my high standards, things like should they helped me chuckle and seemed hot. If I’d really had high requirements, I would’ve focused on compatibility and if it wasn’t truth be told there on an intense amount, i might’ve bolted.
11. 
    Large requirements wont force great men and women out.
    
    I forced away lots of good those who failed to make slice when it concerned the shallow requirements I found myself therefore concerned about. But that is finished .:
    having large standards
    don’t do this. They are going to really deliver better individuals into living since it means I’m choosing people for the ideal reasons—because they address me personally with value, tend to be decent people, and worth being in connections with.
12. 
    It actually was everything about my personal ego.
    
    Having large requirements isn’t about stroking your ego. It is not about being using hottest guy inside area or even the quasi-famous guy because it makes myself feel like a very useful person. Lesson discovered.
13. 
    I imagined love could conquer all.
    
    Also my personal criteria. I found myself therefore desperate discover love that I imagined basically decrease crazy, it don’t issue in the event the man wasn’t as much as my personal criteria. Which is these BS because self-love is the most essential thing, and section of truly having high criteria since it is about understanding my personal well worth and valuing myself personally in the place of deciding merely to have some body in my life exactly who states love me.
14. 
    I was large servicing, maybe not high quality.
    
    We always believe becoming large servicing had been exactly the same thing as having large expectations, but it’s very perhaps not. I wanted getting enjoyed for looking like I would simply stepped away from a salon and I planned to get whatever I desired, such as the unavailable hot guy. I imagined that was a sign of high standards but I was fooling me. I happened to be too focused on looks and also the connection chase. It was not about having an excellent relationship anyway. If I’d wished that, i might’ve eliminated for high quality men who were of the same quality internally because they looked on the exterior.